Write a Nasty Email - Then Hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete
Founder + Partner + CEO
Published Monday, April 27, 2020
I’m competitive, stubborn, and quite frankly I don’t like to take “no” for an answer. I set high expectations and I am convinced there is always a way. This can cause me to be hard on myself and others, and catch myself saying things I wish I could take back.
In today’s time of high stress, uncertainty, and change; I find the frustrations more frequent. I admit I’ve sent a few unkind and maybe condescending emails with the intent to light some fires and stimulate some thinking… but I’ve deleted 10 times as many and watered down those I’ve sent. I realize what I’m hoping to achieve will happen, but I’m paying the price of lasting resentment, condemnation, and ill feelings that may never be forgotten.
Abraham Lincoln is one of my favorite presidents. He’s remembered for taking the moral high road, for his care for our nation, and “malice toward none.” I’ve studied Lincoln and have written many papers on his presidency. One of my favorite stories of him, one we can all take lessons from, is his frustration with his General George Meade. Meade had an opportunity to capture Confederate General, Robert E. Lee and his defeated army following the Battle of Gettysburg. The capture would have immediately ended the Civil War. Meade disobeyed Lincoln’s direct orders to attack allowing Lee to escape.
We think we are dealing with a stressful time, but imagine being the president of a divided country in the midst of civil war and your team has a chance to end all of it – and simply fails to obey. Furious, Lincoln wrote Meade the following letter:
My Dear General,
I don’t believe you appreciate the magnitude of the misfortunate involved in Lee’s escape. He was within our easy grasp, and to have closed upon him would, in connection without other late successes, have ended the war. As it is, the war will be prolonged indefinitely. If you could not safely attack Lee last Monday, how can you do so south of the river, when you can take with you very few- no more than two-thirds of the force you then had in hand? It would be unreasonable to expect and I do not expect that you can now effect much. Your golden opportunity is gone, and I am distressed immeasurable because of it.
What did Meade do when he received the letter?
Meade never saw it. Lincoln never mailed it. It was found in his archive of papers after his death.
Lincoln hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete, realizing his bitterness and anger was going to do more harm than good. I don’t know this as a fact, but I believe Lincoln would have had a constructive conversation with Meade to prevent a similar incident from repeating itself. Nor do I believe it would have been near the negative experience as his letter written in anger would have been had Meade received it.
So in this stressful, uncertain, and short-tempered COVID-19 time; protect your company’s culture, your employee’s respect, your supplier’s hard work, and your customer’s business. Write those nasty emails and then hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete.